Diary of a Thief
by Adapse
Summary: Bakura keeps track of his progress in taking over the palace. Things are going according to plan...or is it? AU, one-shot. Rated K-plus to be safe. No pairings.


**A/N:** Another one of my fics that I dug up while cleaning out my room the other day. One of my rare works from back then that wasn't in script-style…sigh. This must be from many years ago too. I think all of the fics I have written before I graduated from high school are from before 2006…the most recent one I could find was a Final Fantasy VII half-completed story from around January or March, 2006. That probably means this work is at least three or four years old. Wow. ._.

Again, some slight edits to the story to make it smoother than my original hand-written version. Apologies if there are grammatical mistakes and such, English not being my first language.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of its characters. I own only the plot and story of what I have written.

**Diary of a Thief**

* * *

**Current location: **Somewhere in the desert. Anywhere but near the stupid Pharaoh, his stupid priests, his stupid palace, and of course, the stupid royal guards there.

**Destination: **The stupid palace.

**Current Time: **I think it's around midnight, judging from the position of the moon in the sky.

**Estimated time of arrival: **Within a week if without incident.

**Goal: **Destroy the Pharaoh and his followers, get all the Sennen Items, make a deal with the dark gods to get power, and take over the world.

.

**Dear wad of camel skin representing a diary:**

Because of a damn sandstorm I met while on my way to the Pharaoh's palace, I had to wait half a day before it subsided. Then when it finally passed, it was nighttime already and I saw that my map had been blown away. Great. Exactly what I needed to make myself even more lost in this sand-infested place. I'll make up the lost hours tomorrow during the day.

One of the Pharaoh's priests saw me while I was sleeping earlier, and foolishly decided to attempt to surprise me. Of course, once we started battling he saw how he was of no match to my dear Diabound, and fled soon after. I could have chased him down, but the dratted sandstorm decided to hit at that moment and I lost sight of him. I will keep my hopes up that he has been suffocated and buried alive under a pile of sand.

* * *

**Current location: **Somewhere in a peasant's house in the city where the Pharaoh's palace is.

**Destination: **The stupid palace.

**Current time: **Almost dawn.

**Estimated time of arrival: **Within five days.

**Goal: **Sneaking into the palace without setting off an alarm.

.

**Dear old piece of yellowing parchment in place of a diary:**

I've covered the half a day lost from yesterday, though admittingly spending more time than I had intended to. There was a map inside the peasant's house, so I took that in case I should get myself lost again. The watchdog outside the house served me as dinner. I do love dog meat, it's much more tender than mutton and camel.

I'm currently using a deserted peasant's house as shelter (guess where its former occupants went?), and am pleasantly surprised to find an abundance of dried goods and good wine inside their basement. That saves me the work of having to go into the marketplace later on to get myself food supplies.

I'll rest here for a few days and get myself prepared for the raid to the Pharaoh's palace. He'd better look out…Heh.

* * *

**Current location:** On top of the Pharaoh's palace.

**Destination: **The Pharaoh's bedroom.

**Current time: **…Some time during the evening, I think. Presumably around seven o'clock. The people are having their dinners at the moment, so my guess should be accurate enough.

**Estimated time of arrival: **(to get to the Pharaoh's bedroom) Within five minutes.

**Goal: **To kidnap the stupid Pharaoh and get his Sennen Puzzle. Then use him as a hostage and exchange for the priests' Items.

.

**Dear old piece of clothe with "Diary" printed on it in mud:**

I've arrived a bit early than expected. Thanks to the horses I stole last night, I managed to go around the entire city and raid a load of shops for equipment before the sun came up, no one noticed a thing. I could sneak inside now, but I think the priests are all up and dining with the Pharaoh at the moment, so I'll wait a bit later until they're off into their cozy little beds.

* * *

**Current location: **Somewhere in the dungeons of the Pharaoh's palace.

**Destination: **Outside.

**Current time: **Can't tell. No windows, and the guards sure as heck won't be telling me anything.

**Estimated time of arrival: **No idea.

**Goal: **Getting out of here, preferably with a bit of a loot or something.

.

**Dear filthy and stupid prison wall with the word "Diary" scrawled onto it:**

Well, I ALMOST made it, but the damn priest (I think the moron's name was "Seth"…he had a weird gold snake-thing perched on top of his ridiculously high hat) whacked me from behind with his Sennen Rod as I was about to enter the Pharaoh's bedroom. Good thing I had remembered to hide my Ring somewhere else the night before, or I'd've lost the only Sennen Item I've got.

Since right now there's a priest guarding outside the door along with like half a dozen heavily-armored guards, I think I'll escape through the wall with Diabound's powers. The priests and the Pharaoh all think they've got Diabound sealed to that big flab of stone outside, but they've obviously underestimated the powers of my beloved Ka.

* * *

**Current location: **Somewhere out in the desert, again.

**Destination: **For now, nowhere in particular.

**Current time: **Evening, again. The sun's just setting below the horizon.

**Estimated time of arrival: **Zero, as I am going nowhere.

**Goal: **Destroy the stupid Pharaoh and his followers, get all the Sennen Items, make a deal with the dark gods to get power, and take over the world…but not for now.

.

**Dear thick skull of a fallen camel named Diary:**

I'm right back to where I've started, somewhere in the vast desert…though this time I got some "trophies" with me. The idiot Pharaoh's favorite horse (I wonder which moron named her 'Hooves-that-Fly-on-Wind'…I mean, they even had that carved out on a plate and stuck over her stall), a nicely drawn map of the palace taken directly out of the hands of the Pharaoh as I flashed past him down the corridors (whose expression I shall always treasure as one of the best epic moments ever), a nice sum for selling Snakehat's hat, which he dropped as he attempted to tackle me. Not bad for a small rampage at the palace.

I suppose the dream of taking over the world will have to wait a bit longer than expected, but someday, I WILL rule over the world and take the Pharaoh's throne for myself! Bahahahaha…*the rest of the 'ha's are blurred off the side of the camel's skull*

* * *

End.

**A/N: **Go Bakura! xD


End file.
